An Admittedly Silly Post

A slight gap in blogging due to a fun, if exhausting, weekend with family, and another Spartan race that made me sore and bruise-y all over. But I have something I want to write about. Normally I don’t go for screeds–I don’t find them edifying–but this one needed doing. Also, I am very tired, and have little else to offer at the exact moment.
This is very important (no it’s not). A deep (ridiculous) analysis (rant) of things that I see happening every day. What follows is utter nonsense, but also I’m not kidding at all. It actually bothers me.
This is about coffee and food. More particularly, coffee in food in movies, tv, and books.
It is important to state the high value coffee and food have in my life. I have gotten into genuinely irate arguments with people about this stuff. When I was in the Marine Corps, a Navy friend of mine said he didn’t like garlic. This was eight years ago, and I’m still not over it, despite my great respect and appreciation for this person in all subjects except gastronomy!
I am going to start with the top pet peeve, and the top offender thereof.
  1. Movies and TV where people have to-go cups of coffee that are OBVIOUSLY empty. I’m looking at you Gilmore Girls! No one carries a full hot cup of coffee like that.
Indeed Gilmore Girls is the worst offender in all categories.
They pour cups of coffee, but they only put in a few drops, then they take one mere sip and leave! For people that supposedly LOVE coffee, they ditch it all the time. I get that its a prop, but it feels so wasteful, and it’s jarring every time. My love for coffee is great and true, it is a fine morning joy, and the Gilmore Girls only give it lip service. Sit down, drink the coffee, enjoy it. Goodness gracious.
      2. When a character talks about how hungry they are, but then never actually eats the food they’ve ordered/come across/asked for/whatever. Again, Gilmore Girls, don’t tell me you’re hungry then only eat one absurdly dainty bite before rushing out the door. I don’t care if you’re late to school, you ordered the food, you should eat it!!!! Take it with you. Eat it on the way. Take decent sized bites.
Harry Potter does this a lot too. He’s so hungry, but then is constantly distracted by various plot-points so he never gets to eat, and then when he finally has a chance to go and eat, he goes “oh I’m so concerned over these plot points, I’m not even hungry anymore.” I do not believe you. If you only have access to the functional equivalent of a chow hall (military dining) three times a day, you ARE going to go get food, because otherwise you will be hungry all night long. I don’t care what Voldemort’s doing. People do not fight evil on an empty stomach if they can help it, and you can help it!
This is particularly offensive to my (absurd, yet genuine) sensibilities when the food offered is very good. The author describes (or the cinematographer examines) a delightful dish of food only to essentially throw it away! I’m not saying you need to spend five paragraphs describing them eating the food, but at least let me know they are not still hungry, that the food did not go to waste, that all the cook’s effort was not in vain!
     3. Related to the above: when characters who are in dire physical circumstances and in need of sustenance say “Oh, my woes are too great, my thoughts too complex…I cannot eat” even though food is difficult to come by, and they need it desperately.
Nonsense. If you know you have tasks to do, or you are doing something that requires endurance, and you don’t always have easy access to food, you are going to take it when you can get it.
There are exceptions to this one, however. They are as follows.
  1. Sometimes physical exertions suppresses the appetite in the moment. But if you are very hungry, this will come back, and if you have experienced real hunger before, you don’t mess around with that. My husband often has to remind me to eat and drink before and immediately after an intense run, but even if it tastes awful, I do it because I know I need it.
  2. Extreme heat can suppress hunger by making you nauseated. In this case you may have already bought a ticket to heat exhaustion and heat stroke, and you will definitely need fueling and hydration. But you may not want it in the moment.
  3. Obviously any sort of extreme emotional or physical shock can temporarily suspend your ability to feel hunger, but unless you are in a world/social status where food is always readily available, most people are aware of the fact that food is still a very high priority for survival and getting through whatever has happened. Which leads to…
  4. If the characters are wealthy, or have easy access to food, and no concerns thereof, then they might easily be distracted, because they know they aren’t missing an opportunity.
I guess I just don’t like it when stories and characters take food and drink for granted, because these are both wonderful and essential, and a blessing if you have them readily available.
And that’s all folks!

 

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